I have this dear dog thats as sweet as can be
as soon as you see her I know you'll agree
If it is alright, I will be in about eight
If I'm not there at nine, it means I'll be late.
Sweetie doesn't bite often, she knows it's not nice
just nips little children, and me once or twice.
She doesn't like cages, can't stand other pets
and if she's upset, she just simply wets.
You may bathe her fur, but don't let it soak in
I prefer that the water does not touch her skin
She has a bad back and can't sit or stand
so have her lay down while you empty her glands.
She's allergic to powders and dips make her sneeze
so please use the tweezers to pick out her fleas.
She loathes being brushed and watch how you clip
she has ten thousand matts, but I don't want a strip
There's a few more instructions, so here is a list
ignore that huge lump, it is only a cyst.
Leave her back long to hide her bad hip
a french moustache to cover the wart on her lip
She laid down in something thats black and quite gummy
but she always gets cold, so don't shave her tummy.
Poodle feet, poodle tail, of course, thats the style
Don't clip her nails, please use a file.
A very high top knot perfectly round
so what if there's little hair to be found.
I'm sure with your talent, if you just use your noodle
you can make my chihuahua look just like a poodle.
There's a few other things you really should know
she wants some perfume and a polka dot bow.
I'll be there to get her, I can't say just when
but just in case, have her ready by ten.